how i feel

this sux lah .. i can 't write about how i really feel anymore.. i use to write about my feelings.. my darkest deepest secrets and my emotions but now i can't.. i 'm afraid if i write about how i really feel and if my husband reads it.. it will hurt him... oh god! this is depressing.. i really don't want to hurt him.. but keeping evrything bottled inside me will actually make me sick to my stomach..
i am so depressed... i'm having mixed emotions.. i can't think straight... i can't do anything right anymore... i am just so stressed out...
whoa! i wish i can write about things that doesn't matter but being a scriptwriter all of that has gone to my scripts.. and all is left is my true feelings that i can't actually let out... its driving me crazy but i have to learn n live with it...