Nasib seorang scriptwriter

Kita selalu dengar tentang scriptwriter dibayar murah..
Scriptwriter ditindas bila tiba acara penganugerahan tiba...
Script dicuri oleh producer tak bertanggungjawab atau mungkin oleh scriptwriter yang lain..
Ini semua bukan lah perkara baru..
Bila duduk ramai - ramai between director, writer dan orang - orang dalam industri ni... Perkara ini mesti timbul..

I read a fellow writer's blog...
Seorang scriptwriter tak tahu pun scriptnya dicalonkan untuk satu anugerah..Bila dah menang baru dia tahu... Sedih kan? Lepas tu, producer takde langsung terfikir nak beritahu...Although, none of my scripts pernah dicalonkan tapi kita jadi marah bila benda tu berlaku...
Lagi satu, soal bayaran...

I got to know.. a certain producer cuma nak ambil "fresh graduates" sebagai scriptwriter untuk rancangannya sebab dia tahu dia boleh bayar murah..Habis scriptwriter yang bukan lagi fresh ni nak dapat job macam mana? Dan sebab dia dah bayar murah.. maka kita punya rate pun turun...Bayangkan , untuk satu episod 30 minit, dia bayar RM300... Sedihkan???

Oh... satu lagi hal yang sering saya fikirkan.. bila satu cerita itu bagus.. rating tinggi....yang akan dipuji adalah director dan producer tapi bila cerita keluar macam hampeh...scriptwriter juga yang kena maki... Sedih kan?

I am making a living as a scriptwriter. Duit ini lah yang beli susu anak. Duit ini lah yang beli pampers anak...Is it wrong for me to ask for a little recognition as a scriptwriter?

Rikirkanlah... tanpa cetusan idea seorang scriptwriter.. sesebuah cerita takkan ada...Tanpa imaginasi melampau seorang scriptwriter.. takkan ada producer yang kaya... KAN?

Ayuni the Writer

I am a writer. Or am i?

RINDU

Hmm...saya rindu dengan dia..
tapi evrytime bercakap mesti bergaduh
is it because he's there and I'm here?
Pelik sangat... bergaduh bukan setakat bergaduh biasa..
tapi dua - dua pun rindu each other..
I miss going to sleep with beside him me
and waking up seeing him first thing in the morning...
Awak.. saya rindu awak...!!
Bila awak nak datang sini and bawa saya balik ????

I am a MOMMY now..

Haishhh... it has been a while since I last open my blog... and since then , I have indeed become a mommy to baby nufa'ael.. although I didn't have to go through the agony of delivering normally but C-Section pun menakutkan ok... I was left in the operation theater alone and cold for almost an hour waiting for the doc...it was cold and my back was aching like hell.. but again..it was worth it.. 10 mins after the doc arrives, my lil baby boy was crying beside me... anyhows...I don't really know what to write... I am here on my bed.. baby nufa'ael sleeping beside me and I am now listening to flop poppy on itunes again and again.... opsss... I got to go... baby nufa'ael nampak macam nak nangis je... I promise I'll start blogging again.... Laters...

kenapa perlu macam ni?

and so... i am still not feeling well...itchiness memang dah takde but sekarang ni demam n batuk teruk pula... yes!yes! i know lyna.. i tau apa yang u akan cakap.. yea..saya kurangkan merokok ok... maybe sekarang baru rasa the effect kot...

anyhows, lately ni masalah datang bertimbun - timbun.. ya allah! kenapalah besar sangat dugaan yang kau bagi kat aku? aku jadi takut macam ni.. anak belum lahir..masalah dah banyak.. duit jangan cakap la ..sentiasa tak cukup.. macam mana aku nak besarkan anak aku dalam keadaan macam ni?? tadi kereta aku rosak..duit pula dah takde lepas bayar itu ini.. itupuan sewa rumah tak bayar lagi...

weyh!! camner ni? aku buntu lah... aku runsing dan biler aku runsing.. aku tak boleh buat kerja..dan biler aku tak buat kerja.. aku tak dapat duit....adoi!!!! tension nyer kepala otak aku ni...

hah! ni anak aku duk tendang - tendang dalam perut ni..mungkin dia dapat rasa yang aku tension..mungkin dia try nak beritau yang semuanya akan berubah satu hari nanti...tapi bile? aku dah penat menunggu..aku dah penat duk antar proposal sana sini... tapi satu pun tak sangkut lagi..

dan sekarang ni...ada pulak orang yang bangang.. aku bg hard copy proposal minta diemailkan..aku dah email..dia minta hard copy plak...apsal lah bodoh sangat manusia - manusia ni?

aku tak tahu nak buat apa lagi..aku dah BUNTU lah!!

monday morning...

Lemme see... what should i merepek about today... well, first of all my itchiness dah kurang. (thank god!!).. although parut garu still ada lagi but at least now I can sleep in peace... my baby is growing in belly...and sangat busy menendang sana sini... ahhhh...the joy of being pregnant... joy ke? baru last week merungut kan ?? hahahhaha..
i am still writing..but sedikit penat biler my editor tak revert back on my full script.. penat lah menunggu... tapi takpe..at least ada time untuk menulis benda lain....
i am happy..or am i?? entah lah.. i think i'm happy.. but sometimes i'm not...i cry a lot these days... but again... dari dulu pun i banyak nangis... kan???
but entah lah... i think life is like this... mana yang best je all the time kan lyna kan???
owh well.... zull dah start nak baca apa yang i tulis.. so ..i'd better go... :P

Between Itchy Stomach, Sleepless Nights and Work!

Firstly, I am now in my third trimester. Lagi berapa minggu je ni..and my son will be born. YAY! but right now I am suffering from severe itchiness.. not just at my belly..but my leg, my hand.. my back... ARGHHHHH!!! the price I have to pay in order to have a child.. bukan menyesal tapi.. kalau tak gatal tak boleh ke?????? My husband dah puas cakap "jangan garu..jangan garu..nanti your strecth mark makin teruk.." tapi people bukan dia yang pregnant kan?? Dia tak tahu betapa I menahan kegatalan ni.. and two days ago.. bangun pagi ..tetiba kaki cramp....tak leh gerak langsung.. Nak menangis pun ada... nasib baik lah suami tercinta tolong urutkan... hmmmm... the beauty of having a husband..walaupun kuat membebel tapi at least dia concern jugak..tapi lepas i dah ok.. dia pun sambung tidur.. HAMPEH!!

Anyways, i am still in my not sleeping mode. Dari awal pregnant sampai sekarang that is satu benda yang tak berubah..tapi bagus jugak..at least i dapat buat kerja - kerja yang terbengkalai ni..YES Lyna.. I am writing more nowdays.. bangga tak?? hehehhehhehe :P tapi itulah...ada jugak the downside.. bila pukul 8 malam I mengantuk.. pukul 12 malam pulak dah terjaga and here I am 7 am.. blogging... walaupun dah lama tak blog..rasa rindu plak... :P

Sekarang ni Alhamdulillah, my work is getting better tapi yang memenatkan is bila ada lah plak producer yang minta I buat proposal untuk 26 episod dalam sehari..semalam minta.. hari ni nak.. dia ingat aku ni apa? Robot ke? GILA !! but nak buat camner kan.. I pun dengan seikhlas hati pun buatlah... ini semua rezeki anak beb... ye lah.. at least, I buat proposal sekarang..nanti baby lahir, insya allah I adalah job yang menanti...

Oh well, need to sambung my work. Nanti later I blog lagi k.. yea lyna.. I will start blogging again... I know you miss reading my entries kan??

Lucky to have them

Am I a bad person? I know I can't answer that but am I?
I am 25. In my whole 25 years of being me.. did I ever do something
yang sangat jahat sampai I jadi sangat unlucky ?
I am so sad that people keep on thinking that I deserve all of what I am going through now...
I am so sad that I have to actually keep reminding people that I am not a bad person...
Time and time again I will tell myself that maybe my luck will change for the better but things are the same.. takde apa yang berubah..
Sampaikan my parents pun fikir yang I ni lah yang selalu start a fight..
Sedangkan selama ni I lah yang lagi banyak bersabar dengan sikap sesetangah orang..
Kenapa ek?
Orang yang betul - betul jahat tu selalu je lucky but me...
The only thing yang i feel lucky about is having my baby growing inside me
and the love of my husband...

*sigh*

bencinya bila kena tinggal sorang kat rumah..
bosan ada.. takut ada...
my other half keluar..but most of the time dia tak call pun...
n biler kite call... n tanya balik kul berapa..
dia marah...
bukannya tak bagi dia keluar.. bukannya nak kongkong dia supaya asik duk umah
but at least fikir lah pasal kita kan???

i'm FREE!!

hari ni aku dah bebas dari my stupid writer's block...
sebenarnya dari semalam lepas dapat menulis balik dalam blog yang dah lama aku tinggalkan ni..
i am now working on a story yang for me is menarik jugak lah...
after two weeks memerah otak dan memaksa tangan ni menaip..
akhirnya... " I'm BACK!!! "
hmmm...after reading back my post semalam...
terasa pulak lah diri ni macam dah tua..
kah!kah!kah!
tapi nak buat camner kan..
i am getting older bukannya tiap tahun makin muda kan??
and I am going to have more responsibilities lepas ni...
come august .. i will be a mom...
so memang tak dapat lah nak lepak sampai awal pagi kat kedai mamak...kan?
anyhow... i got to go... nak sambung menyiapkan my sinopsis...
laters people...

aku.

aku kini bukan lagi aku yang dulu...
dulu aku berani. dulu aku yakin .
bukan lah nak kata sekarang ni aku ni penakut dan tak yakin dengan diri ku..
tapi aku tahu aku dah berubah....
aku dah tak gelabah nak bersuka ria...
aku dah tak kisah pasal concert malam merdeka atau sambutan tahun baru...
mungkin kerna aku kini sudah berpunya..??
tak jugak tapi.. aku dapat rasakan yang aku ini makin dewasa..
hah! orang yang dah dewasa pun ada yang gila nak pergi concert jugak..
kenapa aku tak? lainkah aku ini?
walaupunbegitu...
aku rindu dengan kehidupan ku dulu...
kehidupan ku yang tidak memandang kebelakang mahupun kehadapan..
i live for the moment.. masa tu lah...
aku look forward nak pergi rock the world..
nak overnight kat bukit bintang..
aku hidup supaya diterima manusia manusia yang popular...kah!kah!kah!
masa tu kanak kanak lagi lah...
tapi aku tetap merindui diriku yang dulu...
aku rindu nak melepak dengan kawan kawan ku kat kedai mamak....aku rindu bila takde duit..
share roti canai and rokok winston light...
best kan kawan kawan?
masa tu... nothing matters..
sekarang ni... aku dah makin gemuk.. ( oh god! )
setiap hari menanti anakku menendang supaya ku tahu yang dia sedang membesar didalam ku...
aku rindukan hidupku yang lama tapi aku pasti yang akan datang mesti lagi best ....
kawan kawan.. aku rindukan korang... korang rindu aku ?

after so long....

hmmmm..... it has been a while since i last blog kan??
well... i've been ok. i'm getting fat.. :P
and guess what? I felt my lil boy move last nite...
it was so..... COOL.... he was like knocking or kicking me..
telling me.. " hey mummy! i'm here.. in your tummy..."
I actually cried when i felt it...
and i'm so happy... y'know when things aren't as good as i expect it to be...
and he made me happy....
the joys of being pregnant...
anyways.... i am now 17 weeks pregnant...
and i have a long way more to go...
and i got to go now... nak siapkan kerja...

laters.

Pregnant and Not Sleeping

I am now 10 weeks into my pregnancy and guess what? I can't sleep. it sucks...I am so bloody tired all the time but I can't SLEEP!! Ini semua dibuktikan dengan a 2.30 am call to Elly ajak dia keluar makan.. Yeap! 2.30 am.. best kan? Pregnant pun nak berembun but what to do.. I can't sleep at all... Well bila siang je senang sangat nak tido but bile malam..Mata ni memang takkan tutup...Anyways.. I am so excited about my pregnancy..
I am happy that at last I am gonna be a mommy....

Okies... masri kita tulis about something else plak...I am now developing some ideas untuk a new drama series ..It's tiring jugak sebab I have all this ideas but I can't seem to put it on paper...So.. its a good thing jugak that I can't sleep because I write better at night cuma sekarang ni tension bila idea takmo kuar!!!!

Owh well... I think that's all...
Nanti later tulis lagi k....

Laters.

Ayuni Writes

and so i have not been writing here for quite a while...
i mean.... there's nothing really for me to rant about...
oh! Happy New Year!! Yay!!
and oh! I have deleted my other blog..
so don't bother checking it....
y?? for no reason actually... I mean yang ini pon tak ter-update...
lagi nak maintain 2 blog...

anyways... I think life is not that bad..
I just don't feel well for the past week or so...
yeah! yeah! i know.. I am PREGNANT kan?
I should feel this way.. so stop whining like a baby...

Hmmmm..... i feel like I miss someone or something...
I just don't feel whole anymore..
I mean.. I am happy. I love my hubby. I love the baby growing inside me...
but I feel a lil empty...I don't know why...
I just can't put a finger on anything....

I guess... I miss working kot...
y'know waking up with a purpose...
going to the office and do absolutely nothing
but at least i'm not at home...

or maybe.. I miss having friends..
the only other person that i talk to besides my hubby is Elly..
Itu pun... sorry Elly. kadang tu I takde kredit nak balas ur sms
and sometimes time u call i don't feel like talking
but I miss u.
and I miss having friends...
and maybe I miss one particular friend...

owh well.... I'd better go...

Laters.