Ayuni the Writer

I am a writer. Or am i?

RINDU

Hmm...saya rindu dengan dia..
tapi evrytime bercakap mesti bergaduh
is it because he's there and I'm here?
Pelik sangat... bergaduh bukan setakat bergaduh biasa..
tapi dua - dua pun rindu each other..
I miss going to sleep with beside him me
and waking up seeing him first thing in the morning...
Awak.. saya rindu awak...!!
Bila awak nak datang sini and bawa saya balik ????

I am a MOMMY now..

Haishhh... it has been a while since I last open my blog... and since then , I have indeed become a mommy to baby nufa'ael.. although I didn't have to go through the agony of delivering normally but C-Section pun menakutkan ok... I was left in the operation theater alone and cold for almost an hour waiting for the doc...it was cold and my back was aching like hell.. but again..it was worth it.. 10 mins after the doc arrives, my lil baby boy was crying beside me... anyhows...I don't really know what to write... I am here on my bed.. baby nufa'ael sleeping beside me and I am now listening to flop poppy on itunes again and again.... opsss... I got to go... baby nufa'ael nampak macam nak nangis je... I promise I'll start blogging again.... Laters...

kenapa perlu macam ni?

and so... i am still not feeling well...itchiness memang dah takde but sekarang ni demam n batuk teruk pula... yes!yes! i know lyna.. i tau apa yang u akan cakap.. yea..saya kurangkan merokok ok... maybe sekarang baru rasa the effect kot...

anyhows, lately ni masalah datang bertimbun - timbun.. ya allah! kenapalah besar sangat dugaan yang kau bagi kat aku? aku jadi takut macam ni.. anak belum lahir..masalah dah banyak.. duit jangan cakap la ..sentiasa tak cukup.. macam mana aku nak besarkan anak aku dalam keadaan macam ni?? tadi kereta aku rosak..duit pula dah takde lepas bayar itu ini.. itupuan sewa rumah tak bayar lagi...

weyh!! camner ni? aku buntu lah... aku runsing dan biler aku runsing.. aku tak boleh buat kerja..dan biler aku tak buat kerja.. aku tak dapat duit....adoi!!!! tension nyer kepala otak aku ni...

hah! ni anak aku duk tendang - tendang dalam perut ni..mungkin dia dapat rasa yang aku tension..mungkin dia try nak beritau yang semuanya akan berubah satu hari nanti...tapi bile? aku dah penat menunggu..aku dah penat duk antar proposal sana sini... tapi satu pun tak sangkut lagi..

dan sekarang ni...ada pulak orang yang bangang.. aku bg hard copy proposal minta diemailkan..aku dah email..dia minta hard copy plak...apsal lah bodoh sangat manusia - manusia ni?

aku tak tahu nak buat apa lagi..aku dah BUNTU lah!!

monday morning...

Lemme see... what should i merepek about today... well, first of all my itchiness dah kurang. (thank god!!).. although parut garu still ada lagi but at least now I can sleep in peace... my baby is growing in belly...and sangat busy menendang sana sini... ahhhh...the joy of being pregnant... joy ke? baru last week merungut kan ?? hahahhaha..
i am still writing..but sedikit penat biler my editor tak revert back on my full script.. penat lah menunggu... tapi takpe..at least ada time untuk menulis benda lain....
i am happy..or am i?? entah lah.. i think i'm happy.. but sometimes i'm not...i cry a lot these days... but again... dari dulu pun i banyak nangis... kan???
but entah lah... i think life is like this... mana yang best je all the time kan lyna kan???
owh well.... zull dah start nak baca apa yang i tulis.. so ..i'd better go... :P

Between Itchy Stomach, Sleepless Nights and Work!

Firstly, I am now in my third trimester. Lagi berapa minggu je ni..and my son will be born. YAY! but right now I am suffering from severe itchiness.. not just at my belly..but my leg, my hand.. my back... ARGHHHHH!!! the price I have to pay in order to have a child.. bukan menyesal tapi.. kalau tak gatal tak boleh ke?????? My husband dah puas cakap "jangan garu..jangan garu..nanti your strecth mark makin teruk.." tapi people bukan dia yang pregnant kan?? Dia tak tahu betapa I menahan kegatalan ni.. and two days ago.. bangun pagi ..tetiba kaki cramp....tak leh gerak langsung.. Nak menangis pun ada... nasib baik lah suami tercinta tolong urutkan... hmmmm... the beauty of having a husband..walaupun kuat membebel tapi at least dia concern jugak..tapi lepas i dah ok.. dia pun sambung tidur.. HAMPEH!!

Anyways, i am still in my not sleeping mode. Dari awal pregnant sampai sekarang that is satu benda yang tak berubah..tapi bagus jugak..at least i dapat buat kerja - kerja yang terbengkalai ni..YES Lyna.. I am writing more nowdays.. bangga tak?? hehehhehhehe :P tapi itulah...ada jugak the downside.. bila pukul 8 malam I mengantuk.. pukul 12 malam pulak dah terjaga and here I am 7 am.. blogging... walaupun dah lama tak blog..rasa rindu plak... :P

Sekarang ni Alhamdulillah, my work is getting better tapi yang memenatkan is bila ada lah plak producer yang minta I buat proposal untuk 26 episod dalam sehari..semalam minta.. hari ni nak.. dia ingat aku ni apa? Robot ke? GILA !! but nak buat camner kan.. I pun dengan seikhlas hati pun buatlah... ini semua rezeki anak beb... ye lah.. at least, I buat proposal sekarang..nanti baby lahir, insya allah I adalah job yang menanti...

Oh well, need to sambung my work. Nanti later I blog lagi k.. yea lyna.. I will start blogging again... I know you miss reading my entries kan??

Lucky to have them

Am I a bad person? I know I can't answer that but am I?
I am 25. In my whole 25 years of being me.. did I ever do something
yang sangat jahat sampai I jadi sangat unlucky ?
I am so sad that people keep on thinking that I deserve all of what I am going through now...
I am so sad that I have to actually keep reminding people that I am not a bad person...
Time and time again I will tell myself that maybe my luck will change for the better but things are the same.. takde apa yang berubah..
Sampaikan my parents pun fikir yang I ni lah yang selalu start a fight..
Sedangkan selama ni I lah yang lagi banyak bersabar dengan sikap sesetangah orang..
Kenapa ek?
Orang yang betul - betul jahat tu selalu je lucky but me...
The only thing yang i feel lucky about is having my baby growing inside me
and the love of my husband...